Sarah Palin Plans Suit to Remove Beluga Protection

Sarah Palin Plans Suit to Remove Beluga Protection

According to the Calgary Herald, Alaska Governor Sarah Palin plans to sue the US government over the classification of beluga whales as endangered:

Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin said her state intends to sue the U. S. government for listing beluga whales in Cook Inlet as an endangered species.

Palin, the Republican party’s vice-presidential nominee for last November’s election, said the federal government didn’t properly consider actions Alaska has taken to protect the whale before making its ruling.

What a bummer. I was all ready to crack jokes about Palin and caviar, but it’s beluga whales, not sturgeon. I could’ve even thrown a pun in there about how she thought it was about protecting doctors, or not wanting them to wear rubbers, or something.

So, do I care about beluga whales? They’re kinda unattractive, like pasty porpoises, and they don’t even produce delicious caviar. All the other whales hate them for being so small and pert.

Well, beluga whales are whales, for one. As a liberal, I am naturally predisposed to loving whales, those great symbols of our threatened environment, and objects of revenge fantasies by sea captains and Republicans. But they are also considered environmental canaries of a sort, giving scientists the heads up when an ecosystem is headed south.

They also make great snacks for polar bears, another cause celebre of ours. Reading about how the big lugs hunt the poor, helpless belugas kinda made me hate them, a little. They wait ’til they get surrounded and trapped by ice, then they swoop in and make sushi out of ’em. What do you do when cute meets psychotic and vicious? What do you do?

Anyway, Palin’s argument seems to be that we ought to wait ande see if the population rebounds without the protection. Persuasive, except that if thescientists wrong, all we get are piles of little white whales. If Palin’s wrong, we lose the whales, and the polar bears have to buy all-new skinny outfits.

Update: I also could have said that the suit was for $150,000.00.

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2 Comments

  1. […] of Beluga whales in Alaska’s Cook Inlet. I’m pretty familiar with this, as I did a story about Palin’s opposition to it in January. I disagreed with her position, and still do. I give her the thumbs up because she resisted […]

  2. […] is weak frakkin’ sauce if I’ve ever tasted it, and it only serves to marginalize legitimate opposition to Sarah […]


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