Who Will Lose To Sarah Palin In 2012?

Who Will Lose To Sarah Palin In 2012?

I was watching Politico’s Sunday Morning Show Wrap-up, and besides Bobby Jindal reminding America why they can’t trust the GOP, I was struck by the fact that 2 of the shows are already teeing up primary opponents for Sarah Palin.

It’s SOP by now for these guys to claim that they’re focused on re-election, but in this case, they really ought to be worrying about the bird in the hand. Either that, or start figuring out how they can make themselves fit onto a Palin ticket.

I’m always happy to help my GOP brethren, so I have a few suggestions to help the 2012 losers get onto Palin’s ticket, so they can lose to Obama/Clinton:

Tim Pawlenty – He’s kinda got a leg up, since “Palin/Pawlenty” has a nice pop to it. Still, I think each candidate needs to appeal to a voter demo that Palin’s not getting. By 2012, there will be lots of young voters who will miss the misery of the Bush years that they were raised on. To capture these millions of voters, Pawlenty needs to go emo.

Joe Lieberman – If Palin decides to go the bipartisan route, Joe will be a top contender. Aside from his hawkishness and hostility toward women, Joe doesn’t have a lot going for him. I suggest he take a page from Palin’s “pitbull” playbook, and style himself as the “Joe-berman Pinscher with Lipstick.”


Bobby Jindal – He’s burnishing his ideologue’s credentials by refusing some stimulus funding, but he really needs to set himself apart. Since the whole “excorsist” thing didn’t pan out so well, I suggest he flip the script, and take on the manner of the demon possessed. People like a monster, as long as he’s their monster.

Mitt Romney – Maybe kajillionaires will be back in style by 2012, but if not, Mitt should get himself a toolbelt, some saggy pants, and a plunger to capture the 1100 or so Joe the Plumber votes that are still kicking around out there.

Jeb Bush – I don’t think he has any choice but to change his name to Jeb Obama.

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2 Comments

  1. […] Palin is a danger to the Republican establishment, on more than one front. She will be almost impossible to beat in the 2012 primaries, but stands little chance of winning the general election. The Republicans think that by trashing […]

  2. […] Palin is a danger to the Republican establishment, on more than one front. She will be almost impossible to beat in the 2012 primaries, but stands little chance of winning the general election. The Republicans think that by trashing […]


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