Chuck Grassley on Tits

Chuck, you can’t just go right for the goodies, man!  You gotta ease into that!  Kiss a little, no tongues at first, run your fingers gently between hers, catch a little side-boob with your thumb.  Come on!

Charmin Introduces the Shitter Twitter

I saw a Charmin commercial today where they evoked that nemesis of starship and bunghole alike, the Klingon (they tos066spelled it clingon), but I couldn’t find it on the YouTube.  What I did find was SitorSquat.com, a website where you can get shitter updates right on your phone!  The site isn’t run by Charmin, just promoted by them in a bit of clever synergy.

The idea is to help you find and rate public toilets all over the world for you to then drop your phone into.  Hopefully, the map function doesn’t have a “Google Earth”-style drilldown, although I sometimes feel like I’ve taken a shit that can be seen from space.

With the “clingons” reference, Charmin has now incorporated references to 2 shit-related jokes in its marketing campaign, the other being the bear who shits in the woods, but uses toilet paper.  What will be the third?  The bear squinting at a tree, saying “Here I sit, broken-hearted…?” or perhaps a rabbit explaining that he doesn’t have a problem with shit sticking to his fur?  Discuss.

sitorsquat

OMFG – I Am Soooo Old

This is why I shun the interweb unless it’s for work.  Asylum asks the question “80’s Crushes: Where Are They Now?”  The answer: “You don’t want to know.”  I’m going to go burn all of my Kajagoogoo albums and Swatch watches.

Happy St. Paddy’s Day!

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