Playboy Magazine Violates Bro Code with ‘Hate F***’ List

badbunny

I already wrote my high-dudgeon, outrage-junkie piece about this for PoliticsDaily, and y’know what?  I meant every word of it.  Normally, I ladle on extra cheese and special sauce for a story like that, but this genuinely made me wanna barf.  Notice how I didn’t quote any of the other parts of the article.  As a writer, liberal, and feminist, I was completely sickened.

As a dude, I have to also cry “foul!”  See, dudes are governed by a bro code that knows no political ideology, nor any other -ology, unless it deals with facilitating the four noble dude pursuits: Eating, Drinking, Gaming, and Sex.  By writing their “Hate F*** List,” Playboy is guilty of one of the worst bro-code violations:

Cock-blocking.  The dude’s post was so heinous that any woman who read it would almost surely shut down for the foreseeable future.  This story is like that guy at the bar who walks around telling “fingerbang” jokes to all the girls before anybody has a chance to buy them drinks.

In fact, this guy’s offense is so serious, it warrants the most seldom-used penalties in the bro code: The Cock-blockback.  Under normal cirumstances, even a cockblocked bro is forbidden from blocking back.  Ya just keep walking.  But when you’ve got a serial game-killer on the loose, you’ve got to put a stop to it, for the good of all bro-kind.  That’s why this guy’s act had to be called out before the world.

Don’t be fooled into thinking this was just a piece of “locker room humor.”  Dudes can be crude in locker rooms (or poker games, or other equivalent), but if someone ever started talking about “hate-fucking,” he’d get a view from inside the locker.  It wasn’t the crudity of what he said, but the violence of it.  Violence is for videogames.

Speaking of locker rooms, I urge all of my fellow bros to purge theirs of any stray copies of Playboy, in protest.

Playboy has since pulled Guy’s article, but the damage is done.  As the old law saying  goes, “You can’t un-ring a fingerbang joke.”

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10 Comments

  1. The Cock-blockback? LMFAO! It’s suddenly feeling a bit humid over here, but whatever could be the reason? Hmmm, that Depends (right, Cube? 😉

  2. “Violence is for videogames.”

    Amen, brother. Keep Jack Thompson out of my entertainment! I like chunking people’s heads with a BFG in a virtual world every now and again. Real life, that’s a different story.

    That said, the Playboy article was multifacetedly wrong (or, wrong on SO many levels). It almost warrants going up to the author whenever he’s in a bar trying to score, clapping him on the shoulder, and saying, “Hey, man. How’s your (insert virulent STD of your choice here)? Heard it was flaring up pretty bad lately. Well, see ya later!”

  3. […] 10 Conservative Women I Love to Love I am going to risk a major bro code violation here by being shamelessly lovey, and perhaps dovey, in view of other bros.  If I am grounded from […]

  4. […] Playboy Magazine Violates Bro Code with ‘Hate F***’ List […]

  5. I hate to break it to ya, but there IS NO BRO CODE. End of story. Call my statement Heresy, but I will not recant.

    It’s due to dolts such as yourself believing in such fairy tale bullcrap as the “bro code” which actually perpetuates the subjugation of women in the first place. All is fair in the games of Love and War. Violence is part of nature, just ask the lion who kills the wildebeest for food.

    To think that humans are above the level of animals is ridiculous. The fact that we have opposable thumbs, the ability to communicate, and many other capabilities is moot. The only things which differentiate humans from animals is our own vanity, our desire to believe we are better than animals, and the fact that we were not built to take a dump without needing to wipe our behinds.

    To drive this point home, look at how harsh the Columbine killers were treated. Look at any school shooting carried out by a child – supposedly the most innocent of all people on Earth. These children didn’t shoot up their schools because they were sick in the head. These children were driven to shoot up their schools because of how they were treated (which would be quite harshly, rudely, and sometimes violently) by their peers – the other children.

    Surely you’re not so ignorant as to not see that had the other children not been so violent towards any of the school shooters, no shootings would have taken place. Then again, you’re ignorant enough to believe in the “bro code.” If you poke the bear, don’t be upset when the bear rips your head off and craps down your throat. Unfortunately, too many people poke the bear because violence is a part of life, whereas the bro code is not…

    I hear that ignorance is bliss. How blissful are you?

    I’ll be surprised if you permit this to be posted. Chances are you’ll censor it since it does not adhere nor conform to your ideals. That in and of itself would be violent. Look up the definition of violent. I’ll post the first definition for you here.

    http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/violent

    1: marked by extreme force or sudden intense activity

    Now, carry on thinking there is such a thing as the bro code, and be blissful. {You’re right, I am censoring you. Go read the rules if you want to post here again…TC}

  6. Dude, get a sense of humor and some professional help. The bro code is a joke. The piece is a joke.

  7. Then do tell, why do you write articles filled with such feculence?

    I’ll post the definition of feculence for you, since I’m fairly certain your simple mind cannot fathom the definition.

    http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/feculence

    full of dregs or fecal matter; foul, turbid, or muddy.

    Do yourself a favor and stop posting the bull crap, unless it’s the only way you can get laid in which case, you’re quite the pathetic creature…

  8. To: “A Real Man” (pathetic excuse for one, evidently),

    ALL THAT warranted your inane screed about the use of the BRO’ CODE?! Get a sense of humor AND a life, you vapid simpleminded psychopath. Yeah, Dylan & Klebold massacred their classmates, succumbing to their inherently violent ids solely as a response to being subjected to ridicule and NOT because they’re severely mentally ill conduct disordered sociopaths(read:chemically-imbalanced, you know, nature vs. nurture argument). Don’t even TRY to assert that you have a clue of what you’re talking about unless you can come up with a MA or PhD in Psychology or Sociology.

    You also seem to have quite the fetish or predilection for scatological references, so I also suggest that you seek professional help. If you don’t like the BS, then fuck the hell off of this website. BTW- every time you’re wanking off, Tommy’s getting laid 🙂

  9. […] wrote, Playboy Magazine Officially Hates Women, Conservative or Otherwise.  Then, Playboy Violates Bro Code with Hate F**k List. And because Politico was stupid enough to post the list without READING the totality of it first, […]


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