Birthers Endorse Chuck Norris For President

chuck12

With all of the recent noise surrounding the “Birther” movement, I pitched a conspiracy theory roundup to my editors at Asylum.  As I was researching the article, I came across this hilarous Chuck Norris Fact:  The Birthers endorse Chuck for President.

There’s a link on the official Birther homepage to the Chuck Norris 2012 page, where you’ll find the answers to the obvious question:

Why Chuck Norris? Do you need to ask?

Actually, I would have said, “Chuck Norris for President? WTF?” I digress.

Our country needs leadership and Chuck is the one to give it to us! He has a strong moral and professional background and is a leader in everything he does. He will uphold the Constitution and protect all of our rights!

Unless you’re gay.

He is respected by our troops and has proven himself financially responsible.

He has already proven that he has a sence of humor!
If I am elected president – Chuck Norris (06/11/2007)
If I Am Elected Vice President – Chuck Norris (05/20/2008)
– And don’t forget Chuck Norris Facts

While you are at it, check out The Birthers, Dedicated to the rebirth of our Constitutional Republic.

The strange thing, though, is that the Birther-run Chuck Norris 2012 doesn’t feature any proof at all that Norris is a natural-born US citizen.  What gives?  What’s the difference between Chuck Norris and Barack Obama?  No, it couldn’t be that Norris is white and Obama isn’t.  Why is that the first thing you people always think of?

No, there’s no other conclusion to be drawn.  The entire “Birther” movement was created as a smokescreen to cover up Norris” own Kenyan birth.  Chuckers, unite!  Demand proof that this isn’t true!

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2 Comments

  1. Rahm Emanuel > Chuck Norris, since all of the Rahm Emanuel facts are true.

    That’s my story, and I’m stickin’ to it.

    “Rahm 2016! Do it, or he’ll f#@k you up!”

  2. BE CAREFUL OBAMA!!
    The last time Chuck Norris denied reality, it temporarily ceased to exist.I’ve had nightmares this day would come!! Chuck Norris is after Obama….(seriously)….

    http://quearrozconmango.wordpress.com/2009/08/04/be-carefull-obama-the-last-time-chuck-norris-denied-reality-it-temporarily-ceased-to-exist/


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