Marge Simpson may give baby Maggie up for adoption

0000034334_20061020191513A proposed plan to give baby Maggie Simpson up for adoption lacks a provision to also take Lisa that Homer requested – a source close to the discussions told Kent Brockman Monday.

As expected, the proposal from Homer Simpson, excludes the Kwik-E-Mart shares option to compete with Moe’s Bar. However, it would allow for the creation of unlimited Squishees — an idea that some family members have expressed possible interest in supporting.

The potential compromise proposal was sent to key Simpson negotiators Saturday night. It is considered a last-ditch effort to secure the remainder of the Simpson family’s votes for Maggie’s adoption as Marge plans to fight the plan with a speech to Springfield Wednesday.

So far, none of the three Simpsons involved in talks with Homer on the plan have indicated whether they support what he is proposing.

Some Simpson family members are pushing to keep little Maggie, but, more conservative members are sharply opposed. Marge has said she supports keeping Maggie but has not clearly indicated she will stop Homer if he intends to put her up for adoption.

On Monday, Marge reiterated her plans to keep Maggie at a social gathering in Springfield. She outlined ways in which Maggie is a loved and useful member of the family, including the fact that she is about to learn to walk, is prepped to grow as smart as Maggie, and for the obvious reason that she is her child.

“I continue to believe that keeping Maggie as a member of the family would help improve quality of life and bring the family closer together,” Marge said to loud cheers.

She also indicated she would push hard for Bart and Homer to shut their yaps because she’s not giving Maggie away – in fact she says it’s ridiculous.

“This family has been engaged in a vigorous debate for many months,” she said. “And the debate has been good, and that’s important because we have to get this right.

“But every debate at some point comes to an end,” she continued, to growing applause. “At some point, it’s time to decide. At some point, it’s time to act. And Springfield, it’s time to act to get this done.”

Homer’s proposal would cost less than $900 over 10 years, according to the source who spoke to Brockman. The price tag is at least $100 less than any other idea Homer has,” the source said.

As with other wacky ideas of his, Homer’s adoption idea would bar any real logic. It would add new protections for people with precocious toddlers and establish a free beer with the purchase of any pitcher,” the source noted.

It creates keg exchanges to make it easier for small groups and individuals to drink beer.

The adoption proposal would be paid for, in part, by a new box of Pampers to be given away with every shot of whiskey purchased, the source added.

Supporters of such an idea — initially proposed by Bart Simpson and Milhouse Van Houten several weeks ago — say giving Maggie up for adoption will give Bart an entire childhood’s worth of extra money to spend since there won’t be another kid in the house.  They also argue that parents, in turn, will be discouraged from having more children they can spoil, instead focusing all the attention on them.

Critics claim the adoption of Maggie will cause all parents to try and purchase businesses with money earned by putting their children up for adoption, even those without any children.

The so-called “Springfield Retirement Castle Two” Simpson negotiators — a group of two old coots with nothing better to do — is scheduled to meet Tuesday to discuss the proposal.

The source, while stressing that the proposal is not final, but said it closely reflects the group’s work and areas of agreement.

Marge’s plan to keep Maggie as her daughter remains her top priority. Monday, she referenced her love for her daughter, and the fact that Homer and Bart a little bit like Lucy and Ethel with their hair-brained schemes.

Multiple sources told Brockman Friday that Marge is preparing to tan some hides if they continue to talk about giving Maggie away.

One source called the possibility of giving up all of the children and starting from scratch a “contingency” approach if efforts by Homer to give Maggie up fall through.

A big open question is whether Grandpa Simpson — one of the two old coots — will support the grandson/son proposal.

Marge and Lisa, and the majority of Springfield have said for some time they do not think Grandpa will sign on.

A source close to Marge said Friday that she is leaning toward saying screw it all, and giving Maggie up, and continues to zero in on trying to get Gladys Bouvier, another of old coot negotiators, to come on board.

Bouvier and Marge have been discussing a trigger provision that would mandate Homer and Bart never try a stunt like this again if they don’t stop acting like idiots or other changes are not met.

Support by Bouvier would improve the chances of the rest of Springfield calling Bart and Homer out for being complete morons.

The City of Springfield is the last bit of sanity needed to keep Homer and Bart from doing the unthinkable before Moe and Apu can weigh in.

****This is satire.  The characters mentioned in the story are totally based on the Simpson’s cartoon.  The ridiculous drama is what is being played out in an almost identical scenario -but with health insurance reform –  as reported by CNN.  As far as Maggie being put up for adoption goes …’sources say’ :)****


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