Top 11 (non-racist) Reasons Sarah Palin Left Hawaii

The Huffington Post is reporting that Sarah Palin‘s father, Chuck Heath, told biographers that his famous daughter left college in Hawaii because Asians made her uncomfortable. They highlight a passage from the New Yorker book review of “Sarah From Alaska” to make the case that the “Going Rogue” author’s escape from the Islands was a case of white flight. Not convinced? Here are 10 other reasons it could have been.

Here’s the passage in question, first flagged by The New Republic:

According to (Heath), the presence of so many Asians and Pacific Islanders made her uncomfortable: “They were a minority type thing and it wasn’t glamorous, so she came home.”

TNR asks why this passage hasn’t gotten more media attention. As the 3rd-most-popular post on HuffPo, I’d say that’s on its way to being a moot question. Still, I would hazard a guess that a paraphrase of a 25 year old conversation doesn’t quite meet the bar for calling someone a racist.

Palin herself says, in Going Rogue, that ” “Hawaii was a little too perfect…Perpetual sunshine isn’t necessarily conducive to serious academics for eighteen-year-old Alaska girls.”

For those of you who aren’t convinced that Palin was a teenage xenophobe, but are equally disinclined to take her at her word, here are some other possibilities.

Top 11 Reasons Sarah Palin Left Hawaii for Idaho State

11. Palin was angry that that she’d spent months trying to learn to “speak Macadamian.”

10. After an entire semester, she still hadn’t managed to get lei’ed.

9. Couldn’t shake the terrifying feeling that ukulele players were actually giants holding guitars.

8. Was unable to see Russia, or any other country, from her dorm.

7. Spooked by rerun of “The Brady Bunch” Hawaii 3-parter.

6. Actually loved Hawaii, but really wanted to meet Don Ho’s mom, Ida.

5. Was ejected by US Geological Survey for trying to get volcanoes to “abstain from erupting.”

4. Thought she could do more for Hawaii by going to Idaho.

3. Disappointed that locally purchased Hawaiian Punch didn’t taste more “authentic.”

2. Refused to stand before Hawaii Pacific University’s “F Panel.”

1. Fled police inquiries into attempted birth certificate heist.

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1 Comment

  1. Great Top 10. I mean 11. In particular, #3.


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