The Best of Bessa

My very closest human friend took his life on Monday.

Here is what I remember:

● Embrace who you are and write it on your soul … or your body.
● Be kind, and be childlike in your approach to new things in life.
● Don’t yell.
● If you want to keep it, take care of it.
● Lace up boots must be meticulously laced and wrapped around the top so one can walk through the snow or rain — this takes about 10 minutes.
● Nature is beautiful, sacred, and too important to ignore.
● Your friends and family are the most important people in your life. forgive them their flaws and don’t give up on them.
● If you must have a cell phone, it must be small enough to carry in your front pocket, and must not be able to be felt thru your pants.
● Girls like it when you smell good.
● It’s not the tiny details themselves that matter, it’s what you learn from them.
● Don’t be shallow.
● The word ‘compass’ also must be spoken as ‘comp ASS.’
● ”This band, have you heard of them? ‘Cold Play’ (it must be said like that, just as if two separate words) They’re really good.”
● The Blues are incredible!
● Harmonica is awesome!
● Rock ‘n roll is awesome!
● ”i’ve never peed on the toilet seat.”
● Don’t judge people right away, and don’t give up immediately if you’re disappointed.
● Be adventurous: you never know who you’ll meet, what you’ll learn, or what you’ll see.
● It’s the little things that matter. A turkey feather given as a gift of abundance is more priceless than anything paid for.
● Travel light.
● If you don’t know what something means … ask without fear of seeming stupid.
● Everyone is interesting, everyone has something to say, and everyone is worth taking care of.
● Safety pins are probably not the best things to use to hold a duvet cover onto a duvet.
● If you put everything in the same spot every time, you’ll be sure to find it — even if you’re a messy person.
● Everything is worth investigating and there’s always something cool in there.
● Don’t ask ‘what’ if you didn’t understand something said. Instead, repeat back the jibberish you heard: ‘Frozen peas on the roof?’
● Girls like clean fingernails.

All of these things, I learned from my sweetest friend, Larry, who took his life on Monday… and these things are not sad.  These things are what makes him one of the best people who ever lived and who ever touched our lives.

You may have heard that the Library of Congress is now recording all public ‘tweets’ from twitter.  Larry Wayne Bessa didn’t grasp the concept of technology, but Larry and his memory (as I saw him) is now immortalized and saved for all time in United States History.  And, it has its own special tag, #bestofbessa.  Every time I think of something awesome he said, I will tweet it and it will be recorded for all time.

I hope you are at rest, my dearest friend.  I will miss you forever.


July 23, 2010



  1. I’m truly sorry. xoxoxo

  2. I am truly sorry at the loss of your friend; judging by your description he sounds like a truly wonderful guy and I’m sure many people will miss him now that he’s gone. One of the great lessons that we often miss regarding mental illness, and suicide in particular (as the ultimate confluence of emergent symptoms gone totally awry) is the importance of telling people how important they are to us. When someone is battling depression it is very easy for them to begin to feel completely and utterly worthless – even though they may friends and family around them to counter these feelings, the disease countermands the logic assailing our affect. Unfortunately I lost a friend to suicide a few years ago, just before Christmas, and know just how large that hole can be when someone decides that a permanent solution is their only choice for dealing with temporary problems.

    Please accept my sympathies, and I hope you are able to remember many things to keep your friends memory alive – at the same time, I would encourage you to try and reflect upon what may have been the warning signs of what led up to this tragic act – an act that need not have taken place given the state of the treatment programs available for mental illness. We have to get the message out – loudly and without doubt – that suicide is NOT a solution to problems. There are always alternatives.

    Take care and thank you for sharing your friend with us,
    Peter Amsel – (aka CrazyComposer@ on Twitter)

  3. […] social media began to embed itself into our day-to-day lives, it has proven to be helpful in the most tragic, joyful, and heartbreaking of situations.  And, we […]

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