Top 11 (non-racist) Reasons Sarah Palin Left Hawaii

The Huffington Post is reporting that Sarah Palin‘s father, Chuck Heath, told biographers that his famous daughter left college in Hawaii because Asians made her uncomfortable. They highlight a passage from the New Yorker book review of “Sarah From Alaska” to make the case that the “Going Rogue” author’s escape from the Islands was a case of white flight. Not convinced? Here are 10 other reasons it could have been.

Here’s the passage in question, first flagged by The New Republic:

According to (Heath), the presence of so many Asians and Pacific Islanders made her uncomfortable: “They were a minority type thing and it wasn’t glamorous, so she came home.”

TNR asks why this passage hasn’t gotten more media attention. As the 3rd-most-popular post on HuffPo, I’d say that’s on its way to being a moot question. Still, I would hazard a guess that a paraphrase of a 25 year old conversation doesn’t quite meet the bar for calling someone a racist.

Palin herself says, in Going Rogue, that ” “Hawaii was a little too perfect…Perpetual sunshine isn’t necessarily conducive to serious academics for eighteen-year-old Alaska girls.”

For those of you who aren’t convinced that Palin was a teenage xenophobe, but are equally disinclined to take her at her word, here are some other possibilities.

Top 11 Reasons Sarah Palin Left Hawaii for Idaho State

11. Palin was angry that that she’d spent months trying to learn to “speak Macadamian.”

10. After an entire semester, she still hadn’t managed to get lei’ed.

9. Couldn’t shake the terrifying feeling that ukulele players were actually giants holding guitars.

8. Was unable to see Russia, or any other country, from her dorm.

7. Spooked by rerun of “The Brady Bunch” Hawaii 3-parter.

6. Actually loved Hawaii, but really wanted to meet Don Ho’s mom, Ida.

5. Was ejected by US Geological Survey for trying to get volcanoes to “abstain from erupting.”

4. Thought she could do more for Hawaii by going to Idaho.

3. Disappointed that locally purchased Hawaiian Punch didn’t taste more “authentic.”

2. Refused to stand before Hawaii Pacific University’s “F Panel.”

1. Fled police inquiries into attempted birth certificate heist.

Twitstorm: Rachel Sklar, Andy Levy, and Baratunde Thurston Have it Out


Even though I completely missed it, I still insist on taking credit for yesterday’s pitched Twitter battle over Baratunde Thurston’s Mediaite story, “When Will This White House Learn You Cannot Negotiate With Terrorists?”  Even though I was sleeping off an Inglorious Basterds hangover, my autotweets were still awake making mischief.

As such, I feel it is my sworn duty to preserve said Twitstorm, along with re-creations of tweets that I would have sent, had I not been fast asleep and missing everything.  I’m also going to go ahead and ignore that 140-character limit. Continue reading

Billie’s Quickies…Early week news predictions

bllieddoseThis week should be fascinating, what with the new Veteran death panel talk, @mccainblogette on The View, Chuck Todd gettin’ cold yelled at about Blackwater, the reality show dude who killed his ex allegedly committing suicide, and the continuing debate about what constitutes a “right” in America.

Well, here are my predictions as to what will make the news, along with some just plain interesting, cool, or weird linkage.

Best health care in the world, eh?

Birthers Endorse Chuck Norris For President


With all of the recent noise surrounding the “Birther” movement, I pitched a conspiracy theory roundup to my editors at Asylum.  As I was researching the article, I came across this hilarous Chuck Norris Fact:  The Birthers endorse Chuck for President.

There’s a link on the official Birther homepage to the Chuck Norris 2012 page, where you’ll find the answers to the obvious question:

Why Chuck Norris? Do you need to ask?

Actually, I would have said, “Chuck Norris for President? WTF?” I digress.

Our country needs leadership and Chuck is the one to give it to us! He has a strong moral and professional background and is a leader in everything he does. He will uphold the Constitution and protect all of our rights!

Unless you’re gay.

He is respected by our troops and has proven himself financially responsible.

He has already proven that he has a sence of humor!
If I am elected president – Chuck Norris (06/11/2007)
If I Am Elected Vice President – Chuck Norris (05/20/2008)
– And don’t forget Chuck Norris Facts

While you are at it, check out The Birthers, Dedicated to the rebirth of our Constitutional Republic.

The strange thing, though, is that the Birther-run Chuck Norris 2012 doesn’t feature any proof at all that Norris is a natural-born US citizen.  What gives?  What’s the difference between Chuck Norris and Barack Obama?  No, it couldn’t be that Norris is white and Obama isn’t.  Why is that the first thing you people always think of?

No, there’s no other conclusion to be drawn.  The entire “Birther” movement was created as a smokescreen to cover up Norris” own Kenyan birth.  Chuckers, unite!  Demand proof that this isn’t true!

Shocker: Why Robert Gibbs Doesn’t Do Twitter!


It’s not what you might think.  From C-Span:

Twitter is blocked on White House computers?!?  Hmmmm.  Could that have anything to do with this??

So, the White House is keeping Gibbs in the dark about UFOs and won’t let him use Twitter.  The President was obviously born on some other planet, perhaps Vulcan, and communicates with his home planet via Twitter.  Case closed!

Fox News Fuels Birther Madness

News Hounds (formerly New Shounds, wasn’t as catchy), has catalogged a passel of examples (actually, 1 passel and 2.5 s-FOX-largesmidgens, to be exact) of Fox News amplifying the Birthers of a Nation and their attempts to question Barack Obama’s national parentage:

Perhaps desperate for new ways to undermine Barack Obama’s presidency, Fox News has joined forces with the “birthers,” the fringe who irrationally claim that Obama’s presidency is illegitimate because he was not born in the U.S. As Think Progress has reported, Obama’s Hawaii birth certificate is widely available on the internet. has also extensively researched the subject. Their conclusion: Born in the U.S.A. But Fox News has started reporting on birthers without noting the baselessness of their claims, and in ways that lend legitimacy to their efforts. With video.

I would add, here, that the first, and best, source for all things Birther is  They were way ahead of the curve on this story, and have debunked and shown disinfecting light upon every nook of the Birther movement.  (They needed something to do after they defeated PUMA.)

News Hounds points to several Fox segments (video here) in which they report about the Birthers in a relatively uncritical fashion, to put it mildly.

I appreciate the job News Hounds, and YTD, are doing, but I have to say that now that Obama has been elected, I don’t really care how loud and long these idiots shame themselves.  By extension, Fox News can stand next to them all they want.  I encourage it.  This latest episode with the soldier who refused to go to Afghanistan was a Birther public service, flushing out a guy who’s obviously too stupid to command our bravest.

Quickies and…Mmmm…Squeeze Bacon

Caleb sent me this.  I don’t know how I feel about it.  Bacon is awesome.  Things that are supposed to be bacon, or bacon-y?  Not so much.  Update:  It is actual bacon.  I’m on board.

Birfers birth a new, weirder conspiracy:  Obama made up the controversy to distract everyone from…all the shit they wrote about anyway.  This is progress.

Allahpundit has a sickening Limbaugh story, and O’Reilly defending Rush on Letterman.  He also gets fished in by the iPod joke.

Tonight’s homework:  The GOP budget alternative.

From OhHellNawl: A prom dress for optimistic girls.

Weird.  I just called the RNC today about the clothes, and now, Todd is talking about them. He’s right, of course, the RNC went way overboard.  You don’t need even a dollar-fifty to make Palin look good.

Isn’t dissing Crocs so 5 minutes ago?

Yeah, EFF married people!

If you like TV, read this guy every day.

Redstate gets compared to a militia by Crooks and Liars.  My takeaway?  Those bastards quote Erickson more than they quote me!

Give us your quickies in the comments.

24 Turning Into a Birfer/PUMA Parable

Not to put too fine a point on it, here’s the current situation on Fox television’s “24”: A squad of black guys from a fictional African nation has taken over the White House, and captured the female President. Continue reading