Don’t Make Charlie Crist Angry, You Wouldn’t Like Him When He’s Angry

Earlier this week, Markos Moulitsas wrote a post about the possibility of Republican Florida Governor Charlie Crist, seeing his path blocked by his more conservative opponent, former Florida House speaker Marco Rubio, will, like Arlen Specter, decide to run as a Democrat.

Currently Crist is believed to be politically dead, and he must let the world think that he is politically dead until he can find a way to control the raging spirit that dwells within him. I, however, believe that the governor of my former state will not only stay a Republican, he will prevail.

Further Proof That Wolverine Sucks

But first, a quick note.  Just so you don’t think Alex is a giant narcissist, I make her put that picture on every story so you can tell Alex wrote it.

Here it is:

Missed The Pound by that much!

“Watchmen” Meets “Grape Ape”

What if “Watchmen” was a Saturday morning cartoon?  Do they still even have those anymore?

I haven’t seen “Watchmen” yet, so I don’t get all of the jokes, but the idea is hilarious.  This is what happened to sci-fi properties on TV until Battlestar Galactica.  I’d love to see him do, like, Silence of the Lambs.

Republicans Really Need to End Love Affair With Jack Bauer

24 jumping the shark is nothing new.  I call their brand of extreme jumpage “Jumping the Fonz.”  No, it hasn’t caught on at all, but fuck it, that just makes me more special.

This past week, though, I had to laugh the fuck out loud when Jack told the freckly hot FBI agent that she had no choice but to threaten a baby.  Threaten a baby!

OK, not no choice:““You’ve got one of two choices: you can either phone the president and explain to her that your conscience won’t allow you to do what is necessary to save him, or you can simply do what is necessary. Pick one!”

Almost as good is when the bleeding-heart FBI chief, whose girlfriend will forever think about Jack while she’s banging him, calls after Jack, “The rules are what make us better.”

Jack: “Not today.”

This is fiction, assholes, and not good fiction.  If your only out is threatening a baby, you’re not thinking hard enough.