Birthers Endorse Chuck Norris For President

With all of the recent noise surrounding the “Birther” movement, I pitched a conspiracy theory roundup to my editors at Asylum.  As I was researching the article, I came across this hilarous Chuck Norris Fact:  The Birthers endorse Chuck for President.

There’s a link on the official Birther homepage to the Chuck Norris 2012 page, where you’ll find the answers to the obvious question:

Why Chuck Norris? Do you need to ask?

Actually, I would have said, “Chuck Norris for President? WTF?” I digress.

Our country needs leadership and Chuck is the one to give it to us! He has a strong moral and professional background and is a leader in everything he does. He will uphold the Constitution and protect all of our rights!

Unless you’re gay.

He is respected by our troops and has proven himself financially responsible.

He has already proven that he has a sence of humor!
– If I am elected president – Chuck Norris (06/11/2007)
– If I Am Elected Vice President – Chuck Norris (05/20/2008)
– And don’t forget Chuck Norris Facts

While you are at it, check out The Birthers, Dedicated to the rebirth of our Constitutional Republic.

The strange thing, though, is that the Birther-run Chuck Norris 2012 doesn’t feature any proof at all that Norris is a natural-born US citizen.  What gives?  What’s the difference between Chuck Norris and Barack Obama?  No, it couldn’t be that Norris is white and Obama isn’t.  Why is that the first thing you people always think of?

No, there’s no other conclusion to be drawn.  The entire “Birther” movement was created as a smokescreen to cover up Norris” own Kenyan birth.  Chuckers, unite!  Demand proof that this isn’t true!

The Last Word on Michael Jackson…From John Ziegler

I know we’ve already had Michael Jackson stories from Christina and Alex, and my own modest effort, but as my able colleagues pointed out, this is the model of restraint when compared to other media outlets.  Like CNN.

Even so, I was happy to close the book on MJ, until I got a glimpse of this farcical clip from the folks who put the FAIL in #CNNFAIL.  Thanks to uber-Tweep TenGrain for this:

Really? You “tracked Bubbles down?”  He’s in a cage in Florida.  It ain’t exactly “Hungry Like the Wolf.”  (On a side note, how much must it suck to be a chimp who doesn’t quite rate inclusion in the “Great Ape” category?  You get stashed in the “Mediocre Primate Hovel and Bait Shop?”)

Earlier this week, CNN also tracked down a rabbi who was Jackson’s friend.  Not Jackson’s Rabbi, for that might have actually been a story.

I touched on this in yesterday’s WaPo story, but after seeing this video, I had to go back and find the John Ziegler interview that I referenced.

Michael Jackson and the Rise and Fall of American Idols – by Christina Cedeno

(Ed. note: Please welcome our newest contributor, Christina Cedeno from Yes to Democracy.  She’s not in the system yet, hence the erroneous “Author” listing.)

It can be said that since the dawn of days- when dogmatic theories about our motives here on

earth were in development, deities to wash the feet of were bore-or when man began to worship at their knees-the “idol” was created.  We have chiseled out pedestals to place said idols on and bow down to.  Kings, Pharaohs, Emperors, Presidents, and in modern culture, celebrities.

New York Times’ Knee-Jerk Review of ‘Soraya’ is Dead Wrong

Ed Morrissey pointed me at the New York Times’ review of “The Stoning of Soraya M,” and I have to say, as predictable as it was, I’m still disappointed.  This is exactly the kind of unimaginative, knee-jerk, cover your ass reaction that John Ziegler warned me about when he told me about the film.  Let’s compare.  From my original review:

The film has some superficial things in common with “The Passion of the Christ,” such as the same production company (MPower Films), star (Jim Caviezel), and a graphic crucifixion.

And from the Times’ review:

Not since “The Passion of the Christ” has a film depicted a public execution in such graphic detail.

…The casting of Jim Caviezel as Freidoune Sahebjam, the Paris-based Iranian journalist whose 1994 best seller. “The Stoning of Soraya M.: A True Story,” recounted the incident, lends the movie a queasy connection to “The Passion of the Christ,” in which Mr. Caviezel played Jesus.

This is a stunning, awe-inspiring example of judging a book by its cover.  What a shame.

As Ed Morrissey points out, the Times’ reviewer doesn’t get his basic facts right, clocking the stoning at 20 minutes:

First, the stoning sequence lasts about eight minutes, not 20. It starts at the 1:31:30 mark, it’s over by 1:40, and it’s intercut with at least one flashback sequence.

This is a big problem, because lots of people are now going to stay away from this movie to avoid a 20 minute torture scene that isn’t there.  That’s a real shame.  The fact is, this scene, while bloody, is nothing at all like Passion of the Christ’s crucifixion scene.

The reviewer goes on to write the rest of the review from the Cynic’s Handbook.

Update: ‘The Stoning of Soraya M’ Does Well in Limited Release

Update: The film has taken in $117,000 from 27 screens, for a good $4,333 per-screen average, according to studio estimates.  This is a film that deserves to be seen, and hopefully, it will see its numbers increase in future weeks, as word-of-mouth spreads and the film is shown in more theaters.

‘The Stoning of Soraya M’ is a Must-See

Several weeks ago, when my friend, John Ziegler, asked me to review the film “The Stoning of Soraya M,” he did so specifically because I’m a liberal, but also someone whom he trusts to be fair. Or at least fairer.  As he described the film to me, I didn’t really get why anyone would be concerned about liberal reaction to the movie.  He explained.

White House on Michael Jackson

Before I get to Robert Gibbs’ statement on the death of Michael Jackson, here’s my personal favorite performance:

MJ superfan Jake Tapper broached the subject first, and Gibbs related some of the President’s thoughts:

‘The Stoning of Soraya M’ is a Must-See

Several weeks ago, when my friend, John Ziegler, asked me to review the film “The Stoning of Soraya M,” he did so specifically because I’m a liberal, but also someone whom he trusts to be fair. Or at least fairer.  As he described the film to me, I didn’t really get why anyone would be concerned about liberal reaction to the movie.  He explained.

The film has some superficial things in common with “The Passion of the Christ,” such as the same production company (MPower Films), star (Jim Caviezel), and a graphic crucifixion.  This was also prior to the Iranian election, so that made a difference, too.  Now. the film carries extra resonance, as the death of young Neda echoes through it.

I went into the film, then, knowing what I wasn’t supposed to like about it.  I can say, without qualification, that John need not have worried.

Tommy Christopher’s New Gig

So, I got my first post-Playboy paying gig today, and in the “not just irony, but irony squared” department, it’s not only with AOL, it’s for Asylum.

I encourage you all to check out my debut story there, Perez Hilton Takes on Will.i.am, Snubs 911 Operators*, and re-tweet the crap out of it.  Let Asylum know they made a good move.

I’ll continue to post here, and I’m still on the lookout for more freelance work, but this is a hell of a good start.  Asylum does monster traffic, and it’s the perfect place for a man’s man like yours truly.

Thanks to everyone who stuck with me.

Note to TMZ:Pictures Don’t Lie, Miss California is Not a Liar

At least, I don’t think she is.

TMZ is blasting Carrie Prejean, saying she lied when she claimed she was only 17 in the sexy pictures that keep popping up online.  Their proof is an email from an anonymous source that says the pics were taken after Carrie’s breast enlargement surgery in January of this year.  I believe the pictures tell a different story.

Why do I care?  Well, as much as I can’t stand any of the principals in this story, the way that Carrie Prejean is being attacked is unjust.  Her mission to deny people the right to marry is also unjust, but you don’t fight injustice with injustice.

Here’s a thumbnail of a picture from the 2005 Miss Teen California pageant, where Carrie was runner-up.  Click here to see the full picture.

From the Youtube: Education and Punchuation

Here’s a Youtube twinbill that have little to do with each other, but I’m trying to save some time.

First, the secret to fixing education in this country.  I’ll never understand why we didn’t just keep cranking out the Schoolhouse Rock and be done with it.  This video proves my point.  Hell if I wasn’t actually dancing around in my dining room while my 15 year-old laughed at me.  You will, too. (Lyrics video here)

That song is the shiz-to-the-nit!

Next up is pop star Lady Gaga (think that in Casey Kasem voice) vs. one of her dancers.

Update:  They are related, kinda.  Lady Gaga did something to help with the education.